Musings of a pair of travel mice

is today the Black Fiday?
No! 
but it was really a bad day
even my students could feel i was in a bad mood
that means it's quite obvious that no smile reminds others of bad mood >
ok..
you may ask what happened?
well..it's actually not a big deal.
students didn't concentrate and cooperate in class
moreover, it's a rainy day (you know that i'm sensitive to the weather . bad weatehr--> bad mood)
i shouted at 2 classes (i have 5 classes today)
i regrated immediately after doing so because i saw the fear in their eyes (plus some confusion )
i shouldn't blame everything on them >

i realized that half of the reason comes from within
i thoght nobody found this
but i was wrong
teacher T. knew i was planing to study abroad yesterday morning while we were having a routine of teacher's' meeting which was twice a week
originally i didn't want to let too many people know this (especially co-workers)
but you know
sometimes we just couldn't make everything under control (that's life > ok..so she has already knew this


i left school earlier than teach T.  and teacher H. on thursday
they told me they talked about me during the afternoon and both of them knew what's my general plans in the near future
Then teacher H. told me that she finally understood something.
She has been feeling that there was something wrong on me during previous days
Shes just didn't know how to ask me
she knew that there were not only something about teaching / students / school matters, but there were also something about myself and someother things-and she felt this is the key point.

wow
what could i say?
i didn't know thay i am not good at disguise XD
i should aware of this more in the future..


ok
time to stop here because i didn't complete this article at  one time
i guess i lost the feeling i had originally
actually 
after this weekend
lots of thoughts were changed
i care about this much more now
i'll write it here later